God's Blessings

It has been too long since I wrote anything new.

So, as those of you who know me or who have read my blog over the course of the year know, I have been embroiled in a battle to get healthy so that I can go overseas and better serve the Lord in missions.

Well, at the start of the year, I weighed just over 300 pounds and felt that the goal was too big to handle, that it would take forever to get down to the target weight that I needed. I felt that yes, while I would be doing this for God, it may be just a little too big for me.

And that was the first mistake that I made in the beginning of this process. I doubted the ability of God to work in my life and as a result made it more difficult for me to get started in this process. I still remember when I had hit a 10 pound loss thinking, "Wow, I have a long way to go," not "Wow, I have been blessed with this initial accomplishment."

So, now I sit here, three months later having lost 53 pounds and I am thinking "What was I thinking?" I actually had the gall to doubt the size of God, yet through this He has blessed me with the ability to go on and lose this weight.

I know that my motivation for doing this was good and for God, and as a result I know that God blessed me with the ability to do it. And that is the greatest thing about this.
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Now, I need to share with you what the poem that I posted nearly two weeks ago means.

In my mind, this poem is rather dark because it is supposed to reflect the true nature of life without a relationship with Christ. And further, the poem is dark in the nature of my fear of others thoughts when I try to share with them my faith.

I know that I wrote about how I worked to overcome this fear while in Argentina, but I think that it is something that you can never fully overcome. There is always an uneasiness when it comes to telling others about who you are, no matter how much you have done it.

So, there you have it.