Weight of Family

So, as I have usually led off with recently, it has been too long since I posted here. But, I have a valid excuse in that I have been very busy with final exams and papers for the past 12 days, so yeah.

Anyway, I was talking to my grandfather on the phone earlier this evening, and more specifically we were talking about my aspirations to go into the missions field. Over the course of the conversation, he told me something that took me a moment to swallow and took me a while to think about.

He said to me "You are going to make the Arno name worthwhile."

Now, this took me aback in two ways. One was that I always thought that my last name was a great thing, and something that I took pride in. However, secondly and more important was the weight that was seemingly put on me with that comment, that it would be through my actions that good things would come to my family.

Now, first, let me address the first thought. I discount this in that I know it was initial reaction. I have always and will always take pride in my last name because I know what it represents to me and that is all that matters.

The second thought was that I would be responsible for my last name being brought to be more worthwhile, if there is such a way to do it. Let me point out a few things first off about my grandfather. My grandfather is a man who is very critical of many things, however he loves every one in his family and while he may say things that sound overly critical, he does not mean bad things from what he says.

So to hear him say that I can make our last name worthwhile really took me aback, for in his complement of me, he seemed to be in turn putting down the rest of the family. And I know that this is not what he meant.

Now, as to the weight that I felt from this comment, all I could think about was "What can I do that can do this? If what other members of my family have done haven't done that, then what can I do?"

All I know is that I feel pride in my last name and that I don't think that there is any need for me to make it more "worthwhile," but if my actions will make others view my family in a more favorable eye, then so be it.