Weight of Family

So, as I have usually led off with recently, it has been too long since I posted here. But, I have a valid excuse in that I have been very busy with final exams and papers for the past 12 days, so yeah.

Anyway, I was talking to my grandfather on the phone earlier this evening, and more specifically we were talking about my aspirations to go into the missions field. Over the course of the conversation, he told me something that took me a moment to swallow and took me a while to think about.

He said to me "You are going to make the Arno name worthwhile."

Now, this took me aback in two ways. One was that I always thought that my last name was a great thing, and something that I took pride in. However, secondly and more important was the weight that was seemingly put on me with that comment, that it would be through my actions that good things would come to my family.

Now, first, let me address the first thought. I discount this in that I know it was initial reaction. I have always and will always take pride in my last name because I know what it represents to me and that is all that matters.

The second thought was that I would be responsible for my last name being brought to be more worthwhile, if there is such a way to do it. Let me point out a few things first off about my grandfather. My grandfather is a man who is very critical of many things, however he loves every one in his family and while he may say things that sound overly critical, he does not mean bad things from what he says.

So to hear him say that I can make our last name worthwhile really took me aback, for in his complement of me, he seemed to be in turn putting down the rest of the family. And I know that this is not what he meant.

Now, as to the weight that I felt from this comment, all I could think about was "What can I do that can do this? If what other members of my family have done haven't done that, then what can I do?"

All I know is that I feel pride in my last name and that I don't think that there is any need for me to make it more "worthwhile," but if my actions will make others view my family in a more favorable eye, then so be it.

God's Blessings

It has been too long since I wrote anything new.

So, as those of you who know me or who have read my blog over the course of the year know, I have been embroiled in a battle to get healthy so that I can go overseas and better serve the Lord in missions.

Well, at the start of the year, I weighed just over 300 pounds and felt that the goal was too big to handle, that it would take forever to get down to the target weight that I needed. I felt that yes, while I would be doing this for God, it may be just a little too big for me.

And that was the first mistake that I made in the beginning of this process. I doubted the ability of God to work in my life and as a result made it more difficult for me to get started in this process. I still remember when I had hit a 10 pound loss thinking, "Wow, I have a long way to go," not "Wow, I have been blessed with this initial accomplishment."

So, now I sit here, three months later having lost 53 pounds and I am thinking "What was I thinking?" I actually had the gall to doubt the size of God, yet through this He has blessed me with the ability to go on and lose this weight.

I know that my motivation for doing this was good and for God, and as a result I know that God blessed me with the ability to do it. And that is the greatest thing about this.
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Now, I need to share with you what the poem that I posted nearly two weeks ago means.

In my mind, this poem is rather dark because it is supposed to reflect the true nature of life without a relationship with Christ. And further, the poem is dark in the nature of my fear of others thoughts when I try to share with them my faith.

I know that I wrote about how I worked to overcome this fear while in Argentina, but I think that it is something that you can never fully overcome. There is always an uneasiness when it comes to telling others about who you are, no matter how much you have done it.

So, there you have it.

Poetry (I guess)

So I was just chilling and this poem-ish line kept coming to mind, and I just couldn't stop thinking about it, so I decided to use it as the starting point and then write after it and see what I came up with. I guess you could call it poetry.

Anyway, here is what it turned into:

I pray away this prison
From the living dead
The walking and talking and feeling and breathing
Who know not of their loss
For they walk in darkness
Away from the truth and light of the world
Walking in darkness
Never knowing truth except the false truth that they create
I pray away this prison
From the living dead
For it is only through me that truth might be shown
To those who are lost

Thats it. I guess the reactions that most people will have to that are varied, so I will give you time to think about it before I give out my thoughts on the meaning of the words.

Reflections on Argentina Part III

Here is the last entry in my Reflections on Argentina series.

Reflections on Argentina Part III

On one of the days in Laguna Blanca, the missionary who was translating for me and another girl (the missionaries were Bama fans, but no one is perfect) told us that we were not going door to door as a woman in the city had contacted the ministry after hearing their radio show and wanted to talk face to face. So we visited the home of this woman, who was named Laura. Laura was much more well off than most of the people in the city, but she still lived in a lower level than would be perceived as "well off" by American standards.

Any way, she (who is Argentine) and her husband (who was German) had divorced two months before and she and her son had just moved back to Argentina after living in Germany for 8 years. She told us that she was Catholic but that she had never really had a relationship with Jesus Christ (remind me later to describe to you the dominion that social Catholicism has in the region and just how difficult a barrier it is to overcome).

Well, for two hours straight, I took the lead in sharing with Laura my personal testimony in faith and how it applied to her and the Gospel. I showed her that it is through our times of struggle that God reveals to us the most awesome of things. I showed to her the awesome power and love that is found in the Gospel and that God wants for us to be loved and prospered (but not in terms of possessions, I can't stand the "prosperity gospel" idea) through His word. I showed her the way that Christ came back to save us from a live of sin if we live our live according to the word of the Gospel, as Paul so greatly outlines in Ephesians 2:1-10. I did all of this with this woman for two hours with the help of my translator and the help of my partner at times.

This was big for me in three ways. First, it was the first time that I truly participated in trying to bring another to Christ in an evangelical setting. Of course I have shared my faith with others in the past and of course I have talked to others about faith in Christ, but I had never truly attempted to bring someone to Christ through my words. Secondly, this was big for me in that this was also the first time that I took the lead in sharing the Gospel with another. This took place on the third day of our trip and we had already gone door to door for two days, but in that time I had mainly served in a role of helping out and letting the other two do most of the work, so to take the lead in this was a big undertaking for me.

However, the biggest area that this impacted me was in the area of my future being a missionary. While the above do have an impact on that, this last one is the biggest because it is something that I will face in the field for sure, and that is the fear of being ineffective. I didn't tell you the decision that Laura made until now because she at the end of the two hours was still reluctant to accept Christ as her savior and instead wanted to think about it and study the Gospel of John that we provided her.

Now, let me tell you that for me, this was disheartening at first as I had just spent two hours sharing with this woman, and I kept thinking "What else is there to do?" But then the Lord taught me my most valuable lesson from this trip, and that is to not be discourages by not being able to see immediate results. While I did not personally bring Laura to Christ at that time, I have the knowledge that my words planted the seed of knowledge of Christ and His love for her in her heart and mind, and that any decision that she makes in the future will be influenced by what I did.

That is the biggest thing that God taught me on this trip, to know that we work here on His time and that results are had in His time, which ties everything that I have written back to the first thing I wrote about this trip. I thank God everyday for allowing me the opportunity to travel to Argentina to show the people there God's love and to bring them the hope that can be found in the Gospel.

I know that you have all been praying for me while I was there and I thank you all so much for that, and now I just ask that you will continue to pray for me as I prepare for more trips to go around and spread the word of the Lord.

Reflections on Argentina Part II

Here is the second part of my Reflections on Argentina.

Ok, enough about what the Lord taught me on this trip (though I could go on and on for hours). We flew into Asuncion, Paraguay, and then crossed the Paraguay River into the city of Clorinda, which has about 50,000 people and is located in extreme northern Argentina. We worked in Clorinda for three days, then traveled to a city 70 kilometers NW named Laguna Blanca, where we worked for two days, then traveled another 45 kilometers to a city named Espinillo, where we worked for only one day.

Each city presented its own special challenges as in each city we were reaching out to different people with different backgrounds in an attempt to open the door for the missionaries that we were working with to go back and continue to build upon the relationships that we forged in the short time that we were there. However, we were also there to do some evangelical work.

In the mornings we would go door to door in and around the cities to share about who we were, why we were there, give the people contact information of the missionaries, and pray for the people in their home. In the afternoons we would put on a Vacation Bible School style event for kids that involved games, puppets, crafts, etc. and just try to reach out to adults by reaching out to their kids.

My personal favorite thing that we did was sports ministry. I wrote earlier about this, but it is amazing just how effective of an evangelical tool that we have in a soccer ball. Within five minutes of just kicking around this ball, we had a group of about five kids there kicking with us and inviting us to go with them to play a game on the local semi-pro team's field. And while walking the two blocks to this field, the kids the entire time were inviting more kids to come play with us. And of course, when we got to the field, the 16 Argentine kids wanted to play all of them versus us 7 Americans. You can imagine how that went.

They destroyed us. It was brutal. One of the guys on our team who is a minister for the NC Baptist state convention and works at the BCM played college soccer, and even he looked like a fool. But the great thing about this was that through the game, we were able to find an avenue through which to present the Gospel, and we used it. After the first game that we played, we sat all the kids down (they were like ages 10-15) and then my roommate Josh (you may or may not remember him) and I presented the Gospel.

In the end we led them all in a prayer of acceptance of Christ, which is amazing, but at the same time we have no idea how many of the kids were earnest in their prayers. I do know, however, that at least three of the kids who prayed with us had their eyes transfixed on me and Josh the entire time that we were talking, and I pray that what we had to say had an effect on their life and that they are seeking out ways to grow in their faith.

Reflections on Argentina

So, I know it has been a long time since I actually posted anything, but the reason for that is that the only thing that I would feel confident on posting about is my Argentina mission trip. And the reason for this delay is that I wanted to take time to effectively work through the thoughts that I had about this trip in order to better articulate my thoughts about this trip.

So, one night I sat down and for over an hour I just sat and typed about what happened on the trip. Over the next three days, I plan on posting this writing in three chunks. The first day is about what I feel that God taught me while on this trip. The second day will be about the actual events of the trip, such as where we were and what we did while out there. Lastly, the third day will be about a particular experience that I had that was very moving for me and will in the long run help shape me as I go out to share the word of the Lord.

So, that said, I hope you enjoy reading this look into my trip. Please feel free to leave feedback or if you have questions about the trip, shoot me an email or ask a question in the comments area. So, here goes.

Reflections on Argentina: Day 1

As to my trip to Argentina, it was truly amazing to see how God can work and is at work all around the world. One of the things that I have found here in the States is that we try almost to put a limit on the power of God in that we try to say "Okay God you can work in this area of my life but I think I've got it everywhere else" or we think that some of our problems are too big to be lifted up to God.

It kind of ties into the question of "can God make a rock to big for Him to move" in that we are trying to see just how far God can go. But the thing is that God can go as far as He sees fit, for while we may not understand exactly what it is that is taking place here on Earth and while what God has happens may not make sense to us, we shouldn't look at those opportunities as puzzling but instead realize that our world is controlled by God, who is at the same time both all-knowing and all-loving and that in the end it is His will be done, not ours.

While I know that what I just typed above may not seem like it has anything to do with my trip to Argentina, in reality for me it does because that is one of the things that God taught me and showed me on this trip as well as the beauty of the Gospel as it is seen in other cultural settings. Let me encourage you (I know you have probably already done this but still) to go out and experience worship in another cultural setting.

For me, to go and praise God in another culture and to realize that my prayers are being heard the same way here as they are in North Carolina, to sing songs of praise and raise my hands up and know that God is just as present here as He is in my church in Durham, it is truly moving because it jolts your system into recognizing the awesome vastness that is God.